Footsteps

Another half year…

Slowly but surely I also have to tell you something about what has happened to me the past few months.

During a summer week in the mountains, I felt a lump in my neck. It had probably been there for a while, but only then did I realize that I should take it to the doctor.

At the end of August, a trajectory of investigations began, in which we heard step by step things that were not so nice and the final result was that metastatic lung cancer was detected. There was no cure, but a combination of chemotherapy and immunotherapy could probably still be achieved.

It's weird that you feel healthy, don't take medication, don't suffer from anything and yet apparently have a deadly disease among the members. When the pulmonologist presented the treatment plan to us, I asked how much time I would have left if we didn't do anything; because I had nothing to worry about. The answer was shocking: “an average of six months to live”. We actually thought that was a bit short and agreed to the treatment plan in the hope that the Lord would give us a little more time. It would mean that I would have to be 'on the drip' every three weeks until the end of my life. The first four are serious cures and then each time a so-called 'maintenance dose'.

In the meantime I have had three of the four courses and from January I will end up in maintenance mode. By the way, it seems that the 'medications' are doing their job and the tumors (or part of them) are shrinking in size.

Why and how

There are a few reasons why I'm telling you this. The first is because I don't know how much longer I can do the work on this site. I don't know how long I can get strength and life to keep doing this.

The second reason is that I want to put some things 'on paper' of the things I am experiencing now, in the hope that others will also be encouraged by it. Even in difficult circumstances, we receive so many blessings from our God and Father that I am happy to share some of them.

Many Bible passages are given a new content, a new meaning in difficult times. Since the beginning of medical research, we have been reading the Psalms and there is so much great comfort in them. In a notebook I regularly make some notes and I hope to share something from this every now and then.

Which brings me to the 'how' point. On the site you will find a new category 'Footsteps' and below that appear the contributions related to my illness. It will not be about the disease and all kinds of medical matters, but much more about the question of what the suffering means in practice and - more importantly - Who the Lord Jesus is in these kinds of difficult circumstances.

“For He Himself has said, I will by no means forsake you, and I will by no means forsake you. Therefore we say with good courage, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear. . . . Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:5,6,8)

I will try to open the messages in Footsteps for response, so that you can respond to them if you want.

Towards the light of eternity

The photo below was taken a few weeks ago at the Planken Wambuis. When I saw him I kind of recognized my own situation in it.

You are on your way to the light of eternity, but you are still in the autumn of your life. You still have a bit to go through the forest, you don't know how long it will take and what obstacles you will encounter. Someone sent me the scripture below a while back.

“does he not see my ways,
and does He not count all my steps?” (Job 31:4)

The Lord knows the way and He counts all your and my footsteps. He knows exactly which number we are on; what we've had and what's to come.

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