Open letter to Ann Voskamp

Below is an open letter to Ann Voskamp about her book "A Thousand Thanks. In it you will find important features of contemplation. (The English version here.)

I read your book 'A thousand thanks' with a mix of feelings. Admiration because of the way you write. I can't quite put into words what that is like, but it is certainly special and fascinating. Besides admiration there was also a lot recognition. A quest for the real Christian life, I recognize that from my own life. Many of the things you have discovered have become important discoveries for me as well. But besides admiration and recognition also sadness, because your search ultimately led to a completely different result than my search yielded me. Your interpretation and mine are even opposites.

That sadness is also the reason I am writing you this letter. For you and all who have read your book. I'll try to address the most important things.

Our history

When I read your story, I get the impression that you grew up in a warm community of Christians, where the Lord's Supper was celebrated every week. I totally recognize that, because it used to be the case with us too. at 16th are you converted and baptized you write in chapter 8, and believe it or not, that was the case with me too! Of course I knew the gospel, I had heard it many times. But that one time, apparently a brother's sermon really hit me: if I didn't repent to God, I was lost forever!

The search for the real Christian life: where should you be?

Only then does the search for how to lead a Christian life begins, and then not just the outside, but especially your inside. That search may have been even more difficult for you than for me, because from an early age you had to deal with circumstances in your life that made you question whether God was really good.

Is God really good?

That question comes to you when your little sister is run over by a truck and then lingers in your life. Among other things, you write[1]:

“How can He be good when babies die and marriages explode and dreams blow away like dust in the wind? (…) For years the answer has not been forthcoming. And year after year we are filled with removal. We live with clenched fists. (…) If He really loves me deeply, why does He withhold from me that which would really fulfill me? Then why that feeling of rejection, of too little, of pain? Did He not want me to be happy?”

Bookcases have been written about whether God is good. But the Bible is also full of it. One of the books of the Bible that perhaps has the most wrestling with whether God is good is the book of Psalms. See, for example, what David exclaims in Psalm 13:How long, Lord, shall I grieve in my heart day after day?He sees nothing in the circumstances of the goodness of God. Nor does he experience it in his heart. On the contrary, he only feels sadness. Yet he knows that God is good and that He must hold on to it by to trust, at to believe. He puts it this way:

“But I trust in Thy lovingkindness, my heart shall rejoice in Thy salvation, I will sing to the Lord, because he has been good to me”.[2]

David knew the salvation of God and he rejoiced in it.

It 'salvation of God', that's crucial! Salvation is the salvation that God brings about and offers to us. For you and me, this means knowing the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, who for me died on the cross of Calvary. It 'salvation of God' especially includes the consequences of His work. Forgiveness of sins, redemption from guilt and atonement, justification, eternal life and so much more! You need your whole life to grow in the knowledge of it! One of the main results of knowing Christ and His work is joy and praise, just as with David.

For people who know the salvation of God, it is no longer a question of whether God is good.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”[3].

That doesn't mean life can't be incredibly difficult. But this is the keynote: I will not perish, God gave His only Son for me, I believe Him and have Eternal Life!

In your book I did not come across that you you 'salvation of God' personally 'appropriated'. That you know that Christ has bought you with His precious blood and that nothing and no one can snatch you out of His hand[4]. Paul calls every Christian to examine himself or herself to see if he or she is truly 'is in the faith'.[5]

Who shows us the way?

In your book, you shout out to your fellow believers in the community: who will give me the answers to the questions I struggle with? I understand that there were no people in your immediate vicinity who could point you in the right direction. It goes through my marrow when you write:

“But can someone please give me a hint, can someone tell me how to do that, living in the cocoon waiting room until eternal begins? (…) I feel around me. Desperately find a way to live today in this fleeting twilight called life. How can we live fully in such a way that we are fully ready to die?”[6]

What is the real Christian life? Who gives you the keys? Apparently no one and that's why you keep looking.

You read a lot and then, unfortunately, you end up with writers who - without you realizing it - take you further from home. Who send you down a road that is not in accordance with the Bible. I won't go further into all the writers you quote, that would be too distracting. But I want to try to follow your continued quest and test your findings against the Bible.

Eucharisteo

You discover that 'thanksgiving' is the key to the full Christian life and if you put it that way, I can fully agree with it. That was also a quest for me: what is the core of the Christian life? What is the key to the secret? And indeed: that is 'thanksgiving'!

We can use the same words and yet understand something completely different.

But if we fill it in further, we both understand something completely different. With you is 'thank you' – that you eucharisteo - the entrance to what you call 'the miracle'. At the start of your journey you ask yourself the question “Would eucharisteo really be able to accomplish the miracle of communion with God? [7]” That 'communion with God' is what you long for and which you have experienced through many eucharisteo practice, you can also experience it in a special way.

Community with God?

You are looking for 'communion with God' and want to experience it. You think you can because of the world around you and write ”the world around us (…) as it is meant to be: as a way of communion with God”[8]. You believe that in the world around you and everything you see happening you can meet God. As an example I take from your book the following

  • New toothbrushes
  • The crack of the first frost
  • The squeaking of an old swing
  • The click of a seat belt
  • Warm woolen turtleneck sweaters
  • The faint smell of cattle and straw

But creation and the world around us are not there to have 'communion with God'. In creation God's eternal power and Divinity can be known[9]. But we only know God's heart through His Son Jesus Christ.

“I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also (…)”[10].

We can only know what is in God's heart for us if we look to Jesus Christ and the work He has accomplished. The Lord Jesus said that He is the way to the Father and that there is no other way! We have fellowship with God only when the Lord Jesus Christ is the most important person to our hearts; for He is also the most important to God the Father! Jesus Christ is the common part for God's heart and our hearts! That is what I have learned from the Bible and that also means practically everything about 'thanksgiving'. I'll come back to that later.

Learn to see differently?

According to you, to meet God we just have to learn to see the world around us differently. We could also discover God in situations of sin and chaos. But to learn to see differently, difficult and heavy exercises are needed. For example, you write:

“(…) also the Apostle John whispers it so clearly, how to find God in the chaos: 'We have beheld His glory… For out of His fulness we have all received even grace upon grace." (John 1:14). That is the mysterious map of deep seeing!”[11]

“The practice of being thankful…. Eucharisteo …. thus we practice nearness to God, thus we remain near to Him, and it is always an exercise for our eyes. We don't have to change the things we see. Just the way on which we watch. (…) But if we don't consciously commit ourselves to this tough exercise in looking, we will die in the barren desert, won't we?”[12]

But with John there is nothing mysterious about seeing. Nor does he seek God in the chaos, as you write. John walked with Jesus, spoke to him and saw him[13], just with his eyes. And in all that he saw of Him, the things that He spoke and what He did, therefrom he understood Who He was, the Eternal Son of God. As a result, John also understood Who God is, the God whom no one can see. He is the 'invisible God'[14]. This means that we cannot perceive God with our senses, we cannot experience Him physically. John puts it this way:

“No one has ever seen God; the only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He declared Him to us. (…) The Father who sent me (…) You have never heard His voice, nor seen His form. . . . because you do not believe Him whom He has sent.”[15].

The Bible nowhere tells us to see the world differently in order to meet God. We must come to know God in His Son whom He sent to die for sinners. We must believe him, as the quoted text also says.

This is very different from what you write:

“If we look right from the inside, we gain the true life outside in this world... the redeemed, full life. (…) faith is always a way of seeing, a seeking of God in everything. And if the eyes stare long enough at God manifesting himself in a thing, the lips must eucharisteo to speak. Those who are truly saved have eyes of faith and lips of thanksgiving. Faith is in the staring of the soul.”[16]

Your experiences

You describe that as a result of what you see and experience, you keep repeating 'eucharisteo' is doing. This then brings you into a state in which you really start to perceive the world around you differently. For example, you can describe this as follows:

  • “(…) the bubble's dome, colors deepen, a fire-blue flame shoots to bright scarlet. A kaleidoscopic planet (…) Yellow marbles to dark indigo. I see. I'm holding it. Here God is present. (…) sacred space. God in there. The bubble of the bubble ripples, violet slides down. This is gift to the fullest, God Himself captured in a moment. (…) The bubble grows into the dome of the cathedral (…). It is eucharisteo that arches the moment into a dome of grace, an edifice of holiness – a place for God. Thanks build a sanctuary here.”[17]
  • “I watch the hummingbird, become one with it, drink the sweet from the here and now”[18]
  • “Faith is the staring of the soul and I want to look within. So I can come in. Entering into God (…)”[19]
  • “I mumble eucharisteo-thanks between the mountains of laundry and the world expands and is lifted and deepens and God's glory swells and I feel my body diminish and the soul increase and joy fill the open space.”[20]
  • “He is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh and He is mine and I am His and I want to touch the paint. I want to slide my fingertips along the oil paint, let the colors soak into my skin, run through my veins. I want into the painting, Christ in Emmaus, want the painting in me. I want to be in God and let God be in me, exchanging love and blessings and caresses.”[21]
  • “Who would not shy away from the invitation to fellowship with infinite Holiness Himself? (…) I can hear Him. He calls for an answer; He calls for unification. Community. (…) Mystical unity. The highest importance. God as husband in a holy marriage, welded together, body and soul, nourished by His body . . . ”[22]

I think it is fair of you to simply describe what is happening, how you perceive things around you and what is going on inside you. You yourself indicate that you experience the mystical unity.

Mysticism: the way to God?

The descriptions of your experiences show what is happening: a path of practice that brings you into a state of higher consciousness. Your perception of things changes: shapes and colors change, the consciousness of (your) 'self' disappears and you experience unprecedented unity with the things around you. You experience an indescribable inner love, which you label as communion with God.

You experience this as a reality that is of a completely different order from life below. It lifts you above ordinary life; it's the 'full life' as you call it. You think that you have really found God, the 'mystical union' as you also found among the medieval believers[23].

Your experiences are real and I do not dispute them. Not even how you describe them. There is really only one question that matters and that is: Do your experiences really come from God?

You're not the only one!

Your experiences are experiences that people of all times have had[24]. There are spiritual (or mystical) schools of thought in all religions that appear to pursue the same experiences you have been looking for. In their accounts of the quest, of course, they don't talk about God and Jesus and they don't quote scriptures, but they mention their own gods and their own religious views. One of the most well-known religions in that regard is Hinduism, with mindfulness as a contemporary mystical variant, if you can call it that.

Even without religion, all those experiences can be experienced. The well-known atheist and scientist Sam Harris demonstrates this in his book 'The Present Moment'[25]. He is a fierce opponent of religion and especially Christianity. His conclusions about the human mind and consciousness are inconsistent with the Bible, but many of his descriptions do provide insight into the methods and results of higher consciousness. I quote a few things from the last page of his book; things that will look familiar to you.

“Spirituality begins with a wonder about the everyday that can lead us to insights and experiences that are far from everyday. (…) every actual moment of consciousness is profound. (…) No matter how many your mistakes, something in you right now is pure – and only you can recognize that. Open your eyes and see.”[26]

The conclusion here is that your experiences are the same as those of others, non-Christians or even atheists, who raise their consciousness to a higher state. You believe that you then experience God and have fellowship with God.

But then the phenomenon occurs that you get experiences from God and a Hindu gets experiences from some Hindu god. Sam Harris denies the existence of an invisible world. Yet he has the same experiences and he explains it because he believes it is part of the characteristics of man. There are only two possibilities here:

  1. Similar mystical experiences come true various sources. Many Christians who experience God inwardly hold this view; apparently you too because you think you seek God and ultimately have fellowship with Him. If this is not correct, only option 2 remains.
  2. Similar mystical experiences come true the same source. This is Harris's opinion and the source for him is man himself, his mind and consciousness. This is his only possible explanation because he denies an invisible reality in which there is a God and idols.

The Bible teaches—and I will try to explain it below—that the mystical experiences come from the same source, namely Satan and his demons.

Drawing near to God - with your mind

The Bible has an invisible world that is normally invisible to us humans. In it are God and the angels, but also Satan and his demons. We cannot see or perceive them, but the Bible clearly describes it.

Furthermore, it is described in the Bible that the peoples who do not know God have their own gods and serve them. The God of the Bible has redeemed a people from Egypt for the purpose of offering Him sacrifices[27]. They should serve Him in a way that was different from the way all nations served their gods[28]. In order not to be tempted, they had to exterminate all the nations that were in the land of Israel and in the book of Deuteronomy they are warned about this extensively.

“Take heed . . . lest you inquire after their gods, saying, As these nations have served their gods, so will I do it. You must not do as they do before the Lord your God!” (Deuteronomy 12:4, 30, 31).

It is plain from this that they must not approach the Lord their God in the same way as the nations that do not know God draw near to their gods and serve them. Well, the peoples who do not know God make contact with their gods in the invisible world by manipulating their consciousness.

God's people were not to approach God in the same way. If they did, they would come into contact with the idols of the nations. That is why the Bible calls this idolatry.

God's people think they are serving God and drawing near to Him. That's what they say. While they do not recognize that their experiences come from the idols (the demons)!

Also in the New Testament the apostles warn against idolatry in several places. Paul warns the Christian congregation in Corinth against idolatry (which they had just converted) by saying “that he does not want them to communion with demons' to have[29].

We cannot approach and interact with the God of the Bible by manipulating our consciousness. If we do, we do not experience special things from God, but from the demons!

This is the deception that Satan has also presented to Eve and which he has been teaching the people through the ages and also now. If you eat of that, "your eyes will be opened and you will be like God”.[30]

God points out a way by which we can come to know Him and that is the 'way of the mind', as stated in Proverbs 21:16: “The man who strays from the way of understanding will be in the company of the dead (= ghosts, shadows) rest". If you stop following the path of the mind, you will end up in the invisible world of spirits. The apostle John puts it this way:

“But we know that the Son of God has come and mind gave that he might know the True; and we are in the True One, even in His Son, Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Dear children, beware of the idols”[31]

So the Bible is not unclear. We must approach God with our mind, that is, with our normal consciousness, and we must not approach God in the way that the nations approach their gods. So don't manipulate our consciousness to experience the invisible world.

Approaching God – as Priests with Offerings of Praise and Thanks

God wanted to dwell with His people. First in the tabernacle and later in the temple in Jerusalem. But that was only possible if they kept the sacrificial services as God had ordained them[32]. The letter to the Hebrews makes it clear (for example, in chapter 9) that the sacrificial service in the Old Testament is a picture of the perfect sacrifice of Christ to come.

Christians are called to make God the Father and Jesus Christ 'sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving'[33] to bring. Therefore He has made us a nation of priests[34] made into people who know what Christ has done for them on the cross of Calvary and give thanks for it.

Of course we can thank God for all the good gifts He gives us and the Bible calls us to do so. But the greatest thing we can give to God is praise and thanksgiving for the crucifixion of Christ. God the Father even seeks worshipers who worship Him in spirit and truth[35].

Dear Ann, you discover that thanksgiving is the key to the full life. That's right, but not in the way you fill it out. The Lord Jesus Himself said that we cannot approach God except through Him: He is the way to the Father. “No one comes to the Father except through Me”[36].

Christ the Crucified

The big question in our lives is: 'Who is the Lord Jesus Christ to me'? Did I first turn to God and accept the Lord Jesus as my Savior who died for me and paid my debt? Do I realize every day that I was lost without Him and thank Him for the redemption He has wrought? He longs for us to come to Him, like the healed leper, to thank Him and worship God[37].

I have discovered that I have to do that very consciously every day: thank and honor Him for His work on Calvary. By 'conscious' I do not mean 'a higher consciousness', but with the full mind and normal consciousness. I have had to discover that God's Spirit also stirs up feelings in my heart for Christ.

That's the secret I'm trying to discover. That this is the core of the Christian life: thanksgiving for the crucifixion of Christ! It is a secret that every believer must discover. Paul mentions it, among other things,the mystery of Christ'[38]. The Lord Jesus died for me, that's where it starts. But the sequel is and remains to continue to love and give thanks to Him. That's the full life,"eternal life, that they may know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent”[39].

You also write somewhere about Psalm 50:23: “Whoever offers thanks will honor Me and clear the way that I may show him God's salvation”. When we give thanks to Christ, we honor Him and that is the way we will see more and more of the salvation of God. We will get to know God our Father and His Son, our Lord Jesus better and better, and we will understand more and more – though always imperfectly – of God's great plan of salvation. Until we are with Him!

Are you in the faith?

Dear Ann, I hope and pray that you understand that the Bible says that your experiences are not of God. You have written that you were converted when you were 16. To the Corinthians who also engaged in idolatry, Paul makes the call to examine themselves to see if they were "in the faith[40].

I would also like to make the same appeal to you: examine yourself whether you really have the real faith in the Lord Jesus Christ! Do you know that you are a lost sinner who is lost forever without Christ? Do you know that Jesus Christ died for you personally to redeem you and make you His own? If not, confess your guilt and your lostness and accept Christ as your Savior and Lord. Please turn from the way you are now going and go back to the cross of Calvary. Begin again with Christ the Crucified and thank Him every day for that great work!

I sincerely pray this to you.

Jesus, you are my life now,
Jesus, you died
you gave yourself for me,
Self thee off'rend for my need;
lest I die without redemption,
but Thy glory should inherit.
For this salvation be done to me,
I praise you forever in my song.

You, O Jesus, have borne
slander, mockery and scorn,
are bound and beaten,
You, the Father's own Son,
to get rid of guilt and eternal suffering
me, lost'ne, to free,
a thousand, a thousand times, O Lord,
be thank you and honor for that!

Lord, Atoner of my sins,
savior who sought me,
who loosed my fetters,
you have redeemed me for God.
I, unclean in guilt,
am born again in you:
a thousand, a thousand times, O Lord,
be thank you and honor for that!

Thank my Savior for Your suffering,
for thy bitter, anxious need,
for Your holy, prayerful fight,
for Thy faithfulness unto death,
for the wounds, You beaten,
before the cross, borne by you;
a thousand, a thousand times, O Lord,
be thank you and honor for that!

Spiritual Songs, 296 (2016 edition)

Footnotes

[1] Page 10-13

[2] Psalm 13:6

[3] John 3:16

[4] John 10:28 “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall by no means perish for ever and no one shall pluck them out of My hand.”

[5] 2 Corinthians 13:5

[6] Page 28

[7] Page 34

[8] Page 14

[9] Romans 1:20

[10] John 14:6,7

[11] Page 132

[12] Page 138,139

[13] See also 1 John 1:1-3

[14] See eg Exodus 33:20; 1 Timothy 6:16, Colossians 1:15; Hebrews 11:27

[15] John 1:18 and 5:37,38

[16] Page 117

[17] Page 71

[18] Page 81

[19] Page 122

[20] Page 172

[21] Page 223

[22] Page 217, 218,219

[23] Page 215

[24] See e.g. also https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystiek

[25] Publisher Nieuwezijds, original title: 'Waking Up – Science, Skepticism, Spirituality’, 2014

[26] From 'The Present Moment. Spirituality Without Religion', page 196

[27] For example Exodus 5:3

[28] See the book of Leviticus

[29] See 1 Corinthians 10:20

[30] Genesis 3:5

[31] 1 John 5:20-21

[32] See for example the book of Leviticus

[33] See eg Hebrews 13:15, Colossians 2:7; Ephesians 5:4; Philippi 4:6

[34] 1 Peter 2:5,9

[35] John 4:23

[36] John 14:6

[37] Lukas 17:15-18

[38] Ephesians 3:4

[39] John 17:3

[40] 2 Corinthians 13:5