Your faith: a real relationship or just religion

From time to time in a church service or meeting, the question comes up whether our faith is a real faith or actually fake. The question of conscience for the hearers is then whether your faith is about a relationship or whether it is just religion. But the issue is whether you can ask such a question in this way, since there is a high possibility of all kinds of misunderstandings.
Why I am not a fan of this question, I will try to explain, and in the process will also touch on what is called "intimacy with God.

The intent of the question
The terms used
Misunderstandings that may arise
We do need to be clear what we mean by it
The life of a believer is not always hallelujah
A relationship that is loving and spiritual in nature
Mutual communication - read your Bible, pray every day
A Relationship of Intimacy with God

The intent of the question

We will all recognize it, being asked whether your faith is actually real. After all, it can very easily look more like religion. The intent behind the question is not wrong, of course. Paul also asks the question of every Christian whether you are sure your faith is real. He writes, "Examine yourselves whether you are in the faith, test yourselves. Or do you not know of yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you?"(2 Corinthians 13:5). But Paul posits this only after he has already explained much to them about the Christian faith and the influence of pagan views. He may assume that they understand what he is talking about. Just read both letters to Corinth.

Paul, by the way, is not the only one. All the apostles wrote about true faith and its characteristics in their letters. Their goal was always to point readers to true faith and the true gospel. And they warned precisely against anything that would deform the gospel or the faith.
Each letter presents the gospel and faith, each apostle with his own words, but always with the same message. And the same is true of all the warnings that appear in the letters.

So the meaning of whether you have the true faith or not is not in question. But the problem lies in the fact that the terms used lead to misunderstandings.

The terms used

Suppose you ask the audience whether their faith really means relationship or whether it is perhaps just a religious veneer. Then it does matter what we mean by relationship and what religion is then. If this is not done then the chances of misunderstanding are high, especially among young believers.

I assume that (perhaps more than) 90% of Christians think of the following when they hear these terms. Religion is seen as an arid, cold and dead faith. Something to do only with your head, but where your heart is not. In a relationship, then, it is at least suggested that a relationship of faith is something delightful, something to be enjoyed. Something of the heart, of your feelings and of love. Perhaps something like between husband and wife. Something that makes you warm, or something.
In this way, the concept pair of religion - relationship is usually associated with the concept pair of head - heart (see about that here).

Misunderstandings that may arise

Christian faith must involve a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and with God, the Father. If that relationship is missing with you - so it is then said - then your faith is not real, it is nothing more than a religion.

First of all, as far as I know, the Bible nowhere contrasts these concepts. For that reason alone, we should be very careful with this comparison. Because there is a great possibility that we will get misunderstandings because of it.

It can send someone in the wrong direction. The result is all too easily that the (young) believer who is supposed to answer the question (for himself) draws the conclusion that his faith is not real. For he does not experience such a fantastic relationship with God as the one who asked the question apparently does.
The result could be that such a person would be tempted into experiences on the charismatic or contemplative path, so that he would leave the "way of the mind" (Proverbs 21:16) (see also here).

A positive answer may be entirely unjustified. How will someone on the charismatic or contemplative path respond to the relationship-or-religion question? Most likely, such a person will give a positive answer. For his faith is really about relationship, there is no doubt about that. His faith experiences - miraculous or otherwise - are truly supernatural. Such a person believes of himself that he maintains a warm relationship with the Lord. While he does not know that he is being deceived and that his soul experiences do not come from the right source.

We do need to be clear what we mean by it

Again, I marvel that, even with such a common simple question about faith, it is so important to know what we mean by faith. What are the characteristics of faith by which you can test whether it is real yes or no? Because misunderstandings and misunderstanding lurk.
So that, for example, a (young) believer would not erroneously draw the conclusion that all is not well with him. But also that the one who finds himself on a contemplative or charismatic path of error can know what is wrong with him.

Now this is not the place to elaborate all this here. Much has already been said about it on other pages and in blogs; see, for example, at the bottom of this blog. But a few things I would like to briefly highlight in response to this topic.

In the life of a believer, it is not always hallelujah.
The relationship a believer has with the Lord is a loving relationship and at the same time spiritual in nature.

We will keep it brief, as the comments are meant for further reflection. Perhaps we will return to them later, in response to reader questions or otherwise.

The life of a believer is not always hallelujah

Life is not easy. Here in the West at the moment - and for as long as it lasts - it may not be so bad for us. But the biblical picture is that the one who joins the Lord Jesus faces tribulation. The Lord Jesus Himself said so to the disciples, and the apostles also presented it as normal (see, for example, John 16:33; 2 Corinthians 1:4; 1 Thessalonians 1:6).
So circumstances are not always to be happy about, but so is our spiritual life.

That inner life, the spiritual life of a believer may be at a low ebb. That when you read the Bible it doesn't say as much to you anymore or that your prayer diminishes or even ceases. That you have lost the Lord Jesus, your Savior, as it were. That your relationship with God, your Father through Christ Jesus, has become lost.
Every believer will know this kind of situation from their own experience. Periods when you have lost it, when you no longer see it all so clearly. That there is only a very small flame left.

Then your spiritual life is not hallelujah. Then there is no loving relationship with the Lord at that time. When you look back in your life, every believer will no doubt recognize this and you will have to say, "It is the goodness of the Lord that we have not perished" (Lamentations 3:22). Paul did not want to talk about himself, saying "But he who boasts, let him glory in the Lord" (2 Corinthians 10:17). If he had to talk about himself then he preferred to talk about his weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:5,9).

Therefore, I think that simply asking the question "relationship or religion" is not a fair reflection of the Christian life, and therefore you cannot answer that question with a simple yes or no either. For how easily you can send someone who is in a spiritual slump in the wrong direction by asking whether their faith is real.

A relationship that is loving and spiritual in nature

Now we also need to talk a little bit about the relationship we have with the Lord.
We have already seen elsewhere that a person who is converted to God and accepts the Lord Jesus as Savior and Lord, from God receiving the Holy Spirit. Then we also discovered that the Spirit then the love of God poured out in our hearts, which, among other things, causes us to love the Lord Jesus and God, the Father.

It means that the relationship we have with God (and the Lord Jesus) is a relationship in which love plays an important - if not the most important - role. Love is the source and basis of the relationship. At the same time, that relationship is a spiritual relationship; it is spiritual in nature.

Now you may not be able to imagine this and I can understand that, because in the world we live in, the words relationship and love conjure up a completely different image in people's minds. Moreover, there are many Christians who think that a loving relationship is something other than Bible reading and prayer, in which you also don't hear anything in return.
So every reason to try to make it a little concrete with an example from my own life.

When I met my wife a long time ago, we wrote letters to each other for a few years before we got married. The distance between our places of residence was quite great, so you were only occasionally visiting each other for a weekend. That's the way it used to be. So all together we wrote more than 400 letters that way.
Well, would that have been a loving relationship? It certainly was, I can assure you. If there was no mutual love, there would have been no correspondence at all I suspect.
Every letter I received from her was special and absolutely different from any letter from anyone else. As for the content, of course that was a surprise every time. You can imagine that reading as well as writing your own letters was a joyful activity. It was the result of a loving relationship.

By the way, what happened with this letter-writing is special: you got to know each other, who you are and how you think about all kinds of things. Simply put: we got to know each other by communicating words; words that were written and read with love. Words that had meaning.
Now when we talk about words we are also talking about the mind of man. After all words, thought and the mind of man have everything to do with each other. I have such a suspicion that this was the main point of the relationship and because of this I dare say that this was a loving spiritual relationship in which we got to know each other better.

Of course, this is only a weak example, but in essence, our relationship with the Lord Jesus and with God, the Father, is just the same, isn't it? At least, as long as we are here on earth.
It is a relationship based on love that becomes concrete in communicating meaningful words.

When it comes to love, it starts with God Himself. John says that we love God because He first loved us (1 John 4:9). But also the Lord Jesus, the Son of God, loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20). At our conversion, we received the Spirit who God's love poured out in our hearts. That means there is a loving relationship between me and the Lord. That from me is not a natural love, but a love made possible by God's own love, which He has poured out in me through the Spirit.

Mutual communication - read your Bible, pray every day

This love also manifests itself in mutual communication so to speak.
First of all, there is the praise and thanks from our hearts that we express - audibly or not - to God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what most delights God's heart: praise and thanks from people to the glory of Jesus Christ! We have talked about this many times.
To this then comes everything we speak to the Lord in connection with our lives; all our questions and supplications. Everything that concerns us we may submit to Him. Just read the Psalms how the psalmists did that and in the New Testament epistles what the apostles spoke to the Lord about.

In addition, the Lord speaks to us through His Word. The main subject in it is the Lord Jesus Christ, Who is, so to speak, the center of God's heart. Therefore, God's Word cannot be silent about Him either, and the Lord Jesus says it, "the Scriptures ... they are they which testify of Me." (John 5:39).

These are the two elements in our communication with the Lord: reading His Word and speaking with Him. When we do this regularly and it becomes a regular part of our daily life, anything can happen. The most extraordinary thing is that we come to know our God and the Lord Jesus more and to love God's Word more.
Moreover, while we can distinguish these two directions, you cannot actually separate them. In practice, they have much in common and belong together. For how can you read God's Word without it producing praise and thanksgiving for Him in your heart? Or that what you read raises questions about incomprehensible things, which you submit to the Lord to make clear to you.

It is the hidden dealings with the Lord which we have already encountered among Old Testament believers as well.

A Relationship of Intimacy with God

In Christianity today, you hear a lot about intimacy with God. In terms of content, they don't say much about it, but mainly that you need to experience it. There are all kinds of courses that want to guide you on that path. But it is idolatrous mysticism, which you can experience physically. You can experience God or divine things physically, with your senses and feelings. But that is the deception that Satan pours out on Christian communities. We have talked about it many times before, for example here.

A while back I discovered a beautiful reflection by the 19th-century writer J.G. Bellett (1795-1864). It is called Divine Intimacy and is here can be found in English. I include a few brief quotes from it that I think capture the essence of what the Bible understands by intimacy with God.

Quote: 'The Savior familiarizes Himself with the secrets of the sinner's heart; as He communicates to such a person the secrets of the heart of God.‘
This is indeed intimacy of the highest order: telling each other your heart secrets!
It is unimaginable grace that God wants to deal with us as His children, as sons. And that the Lord Jesus wants to deal with us like you deal with friends and tell each other your heart secrets!
Quote: 'Wonderful grace! God the Father does not want us as servants, but as sons; the Lord Jesus does not want us as servants, but as friends.’
The heart secrets that God communicates to us concern first the sinner's salvation, so that he knows what that salvation means, enjoys it, and can thank and praise God. Freedom, strength and joy and free entrance into the sanctuary. This concerns our own interests as sinners. Then God communicates to him the various riches and mysteries of His own counsels, from their beginning to their end.

You love me, faithful God and Father, more than the most faithful friend.
You love me, more than a tender mother loves her infant.

I love You, O God so full of grace, so good, so faithful, so gentle.
I love You, You who first scorned me, my Rock and my Shield.

You love me, You source of everlasting love, Provider of my salvation.
You love me, You had Your One-born for sacrifice for me.

I love Thee, alone shall he never be, who loves Thee O God.
I love You and it is Your own love that You pours out in Your child.

You love me, You have opened my dark eyes to Your light.
You love me and keep Your eye on me from heaven.

I love You, You joy of my life and gladness of my heart.
O Savior-God, let me never forget Your kind Father's heart.

_{Song 49 Geestelijke Liederen (2016)}